stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
