Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
