Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My ATM looks so different sober.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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