Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
