Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
