I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize