Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
