I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize