Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
