I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
