HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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