He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
