We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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