He is an equal opportunity slut.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
