What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
