Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
