i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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