I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize