Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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