i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
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