i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
