Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
