Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
