Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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