it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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