what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
