im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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