You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
