I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
look no pants
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
