i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
