We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
