Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight

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(206): View more from Washington

Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.

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(248): View more from Michigan

the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person

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(310): View more from California

...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.

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(207): View more from Maine

I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with

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