I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
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saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out