dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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