Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.

Fav 2 5683 1767
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.

Fav 1 2291 963
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.

Fav 25 3256 918
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out

Fav 11 1600 2995
share tweet
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(651): View more from Minnesota

saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.

Fav 17 4085 1246
share tweet
(906): View more from Michigan

3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.

Fav 3 1652 861
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(702): View more from Nevada

the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from

Fav 9 1113 3576
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.

(469): View more from Texas

BP at your house from now on.

Fav 0 987 589
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(256): View more from Alabama

i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out

Fav 3 62 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT