If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
