I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.