but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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