Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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