no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize