Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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