he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
