I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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