im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
