Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
