if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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