Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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