Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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