Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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