And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
