maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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