i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
