So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
