If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
