The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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