Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
