What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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