Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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