just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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