You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
