And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
