The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
