rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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