We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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