wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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